I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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