How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
