just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
