im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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