if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
