Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I know her cup size but not her name....
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
