please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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