First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
FUCK WHALES
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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