what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
