Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize