The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
