It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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