We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
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He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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