Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
