You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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