I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
