I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize