So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
