Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
