He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
