I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Come share oat with me in your robe
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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