We're facebook friends in real life
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
