Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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