Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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