what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
