And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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