Screwed.edu
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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