alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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