Nicole vs. Life
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
