forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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