GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
