4 words: hood of his car
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
