You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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