what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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