apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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