Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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