Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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