I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
