My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
