He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
