i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
