Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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