She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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