How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
