What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize