Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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