that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
