butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
