I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
