He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
A+ Viking dick
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
