How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
