I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
