I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
