I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Gay?
German.
Pity.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
