Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
