brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
