I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
