the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Sext me about skeletons
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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